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Thursday 9 December 2021

It's been a crazy 6 months - #moving #family #stressed #anxiety

Grandma & Brianna, © 2021

It's been a long time since I've written anything on this blog, and I'm a bit disappointed about it. I started this blog many years ago as a form of therapy, and it helped me quite a bit. After I built a following, I almost felt like I couldn't fully be myself anymore... especially since some family members and people from work followed me. I guess at some point I kind of gave up and just went on with my life, and just struggled with some issues. So much has changed within the past year, and I can't believe it flew by so quick. 

What's new with me? Well, I sold the condo that I was renting out and bought a house. Instead of two households (mom and grandma, and me and my daughter), all four generations are under the same roof. We moved from Toronto, Ontario to Barrie, Ontario... and I'm so happy to have moved away from the big city. I was getting tired of the possibility of violence, and the fast paced action of the city. 

Since I was living on my own for over 15 years, it's hard living with family again... I miss the independence I had. I've been really struggling with this, and it's an ongoing issue... battle for the head of the house. Since moving, my grandmother has gotten worse then she was. The move completely screwed with her mind... we knew she had dementia, but she was actually just diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Since the move, we've been calling 911 almost on a weekly basis... realistically she should been in a nursing home. Since we've moved here she's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, congestive heart failure, edema, and pneumonia... we have been her caregivers 24/7, and I'm mentally and physically exhausted.

Grandma seems to be doing much better than she was a few weeks back... we were at the point that we didn't think she'd make it to Christmas. There was an evening where she was complaining about chest pain, and didn't want me to make a big deal about it. Well, I went with my gut and called for an ambulance. Me making that call saved her life... the nurse said that she probably wouldn't have been able to fight off the illness, if we had let it go any longer. I'm happy that she's been doing better, but also in desperate need of more help from the government. The waitlist for a nursing home is at least a year... and we need it NOW! I don't know how much more of being a caregiver 24/7 that I can take. I haven't been able to keep a full time job, since being her caregiver is 24/7... and employment insurance is only going to last a period of time. 

It's been a crazy 6 months, but things are starting to look up. So much has happened in the last little while, and time passes way too fast. I'm looking forward to what the new year has in store for me and the family, and hoping to blog more often.

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