Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Lost My Mind

The last little while I have been having a real hard time dealing with my mental illness. I truely feel there is something wrong in my head... I don`t know how to explain it.

Today I fucked up royally... I had a doctors appointment with the Dr for my work, but I thought it was on Thursday coming. Shit... now I might have fucked up my short term disability. My mind is not all there... I`m making stupid decisions that I wouldn`t normally do... I can`t think straight. I feel like my mind is in a fog... so confused and in another world. This morning I swear I was on the toilet peeing... and then I realised I was sitting up in bed peeing. I don`t want to live like this anymore... I`m almost at the point of giving up. I don`t know what to do... how to explain how I feel... I feel like I am going crazy.

I left a message for my boss... waiting for her to call me back... and it feels like a milllion years go by. It is driving me nuts waiting... feel like pulling my eyes out... feel like taking plyers and pulling my teeth out. Oh, and lately I have an obsession with my teeth... I keep dreaming about them and wanting to yank them out. What is wrong with me?


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