Just as I'm thinking that I'm getting better and feel normal...out of the blue I have a panic attack. At the moment I feel a little out of it from the lorazepam that I took about an hour ago...but at least I feel a bit better. I hate when I'm home alone at night when Rachid is working late. Still...it's no reason to have a panic attack out of the blue. I'm not overly stressed or anything...why does this happen? Why can't I enjoy my life the way I should be able to? I feel like I'm crazy or something. Life is better now that I'm on the Effexor XR medication, but every so often I still get a panic attack.
I was sitting in bed watching CSI and boom...just like that I thought I was having a heart attack. I felt like I couldn't breath...felt like I was going to pass out...my heart started racing...my tongue tinggled...my nostrils were numb...my eyesight was like a strobe light....ya I must be crazy. It lasted like maybe ten minutes. I spoke to my mother on the phone and she tried to calm me down a bit...which worked a bit...but I still don't feel that great. Mr Jingles is laying here with me while I write in this blog. Thank God for him or I would have lost my mind long time ago.
I'm back to work tomorrow...and I'm kind of looking forward to it. It's almost the end of the month and I hope I keep up with my sales and keep my time down. I want to be able to qualify for all the bonus's...could really come in handy.
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