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Friday 16 January 2015

I Hate Panic Attacks

I've been awake for hours now, and I can't seem to fall back asleep... or maybe I'm actually afraid to. This is the first time in a long time that I've had a panic attack, and I forgot how bad they used to be. I woke up around 3am for a washroom break, as I usually wake up a couple times to pee throughout the night. While sitting on the can for a bit, I felt a little dizzy and almost fainted. I panicked a bit and thought maybe my blood sugar was dropping, so I decided to have a couple clementines. I felt slightly better, but still a little shook up. I ended up having some cold leftovers (seafood chowder), which wasn't exactly the greatest cold.

Still not feeling the greatest, I ended up moving to the other room so that I could watch the news on TV. Part of me wanted to wake my boyfriend up, but another part of me didn't want to disturb him. The relationship is fairly new, and I didn't want to scare him with my crazy, metal, panic episode. Trying to keep myself busy and free from going nuts, I decided to tweeze my eyebrows... which by the way, is slightly difficult in the middle of the night even with the light on.

Now that I have perfectly manicured eyebrows, I still find myself slightly on edge. I guess by now I've over-thought the whole situation, and have made myself worse than in the beginning... which brings me online. It's been a while since I've blogged, and I figured I should jot down how I'm feeling. Blogging is one of my ways of therapy, and it helps me keep track of my moods and mental illness.

Starting to fall asleep at the computer, and I can hear my partner roll over in bed. It's a little after 5am, and I will feel much better once the sun starts rising. Hopefully this doesn't happen again any time soon... praying for smooth sailing in the days to come.

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