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Thursday 1 July 2010

Happy Canada Day!

Why Canada is the Best

  • Tim Hortons. For brewing coffee that tastes as good as it smells. And for chocolate sour cream Timbits.
  • Polar bears. Big, white, beautiful.
  • The anti-gun rack. In which our pickup trucks carry umbrellas, not automatic weapons.
  • Wayne Gretzky. You don't have to be a hockey fan to call the pride of Brantford a great athlete, and one classy guy.
  • Greenpeace. For raising global environmental consciousness, and for saving whales.
  • Snow. Because we can't control it. And can't stop talking about it.
  • Canadian bacon. Make fun if you will, as long as you serve it crisp.
  • Quiet pride. We wear patriotism on our backpacks, where it should be.
  • Beer. There are just some things we do better.
  • In Flanders Fields. The heartrending poppy poem was penned in 1915 by Ontario surgeon John McCrae, on the battlefield of Ypres.
  • Newfoundland. Cod, screech, seal pups, that third official language. We love the Rock.
  • Red serge. Our cops, from the musical ride to that sexy uniform, are standouts.
  • Maple syrup. Without which pancakes would just be a stack of fried flour.
  • Anne of Green Gables. A multimillion-dollar industry, but still our pig-tailed P.E.I. scamp.
  • Bushes and boulders. Deserts, glaciers, sea shores, tropical forests, rivers, mountains, lakes, plains. Talk about having it all under one roof.
  • Canada Dry Ginger Ale. Invented by Toronto chemist John A. McLaughlin in 1907.
  • The Maple Leaf. Our flag, bold and graphically spare, makes the heart swell.
  • Manners. Some call us conservative. We call us polite.
  • Terry Fox. For still giving cancer a run for the money, 25 years on.
  • Water. We have it. Crisp, clean, cold. Lots of it.
  • Niagara Falls. Spectacular doesn't begin to describe them.
  • Poutine. French junk food. The real reason we put up with Quebec's familial hissy fits.
  • Eh. Say it loud. Say it proud.
  • The Maple Leaf. Our flag, bold and graphically spare, makes the heart swell.
  • Francophones. There'd be no Canada without them.
  • Toronto Blue Jays. For putting world in the World Series.
  • The border. An 8,891-kilometre room divider.
  • Lake of the Woods. 14,542 islands, 65,000 miles of shoreline. Now that's cottage country.
  • Grizzly bear. Big, brown and beautiful.
  • The Rockies. Because every country needs a backbone.
  • Barenaked Ladies. If we had a million dollars, we'd send them a thank-you note just for being sassy.
  • Celine Dion. Forget the wedding, the husband and all that fromage. It's the voice that counts.
  • Shania Twain. Country siren in a leopard coat.
  • Alanis Morissette. Her 30 million Jagged Little Pills proved there's no fury like a pop singer scorned.
  • Canadian brain: From plastic garbage bags to goalie masks, from basketball to the Jolly Jumper, we have given the world more than one million inventions.
  • Blue $5, purple $10. No monochromatic greenbacks for us. Our money is funny.
  • Blame Canada. Terrorists. Blackouts. Social liberalism. Thanks, South Park. It's fun to be the scapegoat.
  • Four Seasons. From sea to shining sea, a lovely ever-changing national mood swing.
  • Democracy. One free vote. Priceless
  • Beaver. Because, as a national symbol, the eagle is just so obvious
  • Moose. Improbable forest titan. With quite the rack.
  • Highway signs. Green and white and read all over. Easily.
  • Jim Carrey. Must be something in the water, because we breed the funniest comedians. Ever.
  • Canada. It's easy to spell. It means village. What's not to like?
  • And yes... we all live in igloos!
There will, of course, be those of you who take issue with some of these choices, or who are horrified at the omission of other great reasons to love Canada. Let me have it. And them.

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