Sunday, October 21, 2007
3:58:59 o'clock PM PDT Feeling Chillin'
Time Passes Too Quickly
It's yet another Sunday night and I'm writing in my journal. Time passes so quickly that I forget to leave an entry. I spent half of the week at mom's place which is also a reason I didn't write any entries. I went there Tuesday night to fix her computer, and I still have no idea what I did to it. All I know is that the internet decided to work again. Did I fix it? Or is the computer just possessed?! I also went there Thursday night since I had a doctors apointment the next day in the morning. Ya I needed my mom to drive me there or I'd probably sleep though it again! I'm famous for making apointments and then not going. I'm not exactly a morning person and fail to listen to the alarm clock when it goes off.
I have to say that the last week at work was hell. Just as I thought I was enjoying this new job, it takes a shitty turn. I have to say that I wanted to walk out of there at least a dozen times. I don't know how long I can bite my tongue towards them...but I will crack very soon. I'm about three weeks away of three months. Probation period is almost over...that is if they don't fire me. Oh well...guess I'll keep looking and keep my options open. Too bad I'm working full time this week...all morning shifts. The boss is on holidays...in a way that's a good thing. I shouldn't say it will be less stressful or I'd jinx it.
3:58:59 o'clock PM PDT Feeling Chillin'
Time Passes Too Quickly
It's yet another Sunday night and I'm writing in my journal. Time passes so quickly that I forget to leave an entry. I spent half of the week at mom's place which is also a reason I didn't write any entries. I went there Tuesday night to fix her computer, and I still have no idea what I did to it. All I know is that the internet decided to work again. Did I fix it? Or is the computer just possessed?! I also went there Thursday night since I had a doctors apointment the next day in the morning. Ya I needed my mom to drive me there or I'd probably sleep though it again! I'm famous for making apointments and then not going. I'm not exactly a morning person and fail to listen to the alarm clock when it goes off.
I have to say that the last week at work was hell. Just as I thought I was enjoying this new job, it takes a shitty turn. I have to say that I wanted to walk out of there at least a dozen times. I don't know how long I can bite my tongue towards them...but I will crack very soon. I'm about three weeks away of three months. Probation period is almost over...that is if they don't fire me. Oh well...guess I'll keep looking and keep my options open. Too bad I'm working full time this week...all morning shifts. The boss is on holidays...in a way that's a good thing. I shouldn't say it will be less stressful or I'd jinx it.
I keep dreaming of working with animals for a living. I just wish that I had the funds to get my proper education. It makes me nuts to think that I have to work shit jobs until I can financially go back to school. I want to fuckin run away from everything and start my life over as a vet assistant. Or better yet....a vet with my own practice. I can dream...just wish I could make that dream come true before I'm old.
Shit...I should head to bed now since I have to wake up early tomorrow. I pray for the strength to not walk out of the job.
Shit...I should head to bed now since I have to wake up early tomorrow. I pray for the strength to not walk out of the job.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
6:55:53 o'clock PM PDT Feeling Hopeful
Sunday Night
Well this was a boring weekend! It's a Sunday night and I'm not exactly looking forward to work tomorrow. I do enjoy my job, but I'm in a lazy mood right now. I hope that at least it's not raining tomorrow. I'm just getting over a cold and I don't want to chance getting sick again.
Tomorrow I'm going to mom's place to fix her computer. I'm not sure why the internet doesn't want to work...it's a brand new computer. Ah, these damn machines are a pain in the ass. Maybe it's possessed like the work computers.
It's been a week now since I've gone complete vegan. I am doing well at it. I don't crave any dairy. I can't believe how easy it is to stay away from it all. The only thing I crave is french fries from the damn fry truck at my work. That's vegan....but not healthy. It would ruin everything I've acomplished so far. Actually today I had a crousant...guess I ruined todays food intake. Fuck...I want to look good though.
Every time I want to eat fried foods or meat I just think of the book Skinny Bitch...excellent book. I have to be positive and strong....I'm doing good....keep strong.
6:55:53 o'clock PM PDT Feeling Hopeful
Sunday Night
Well this was a boring weekend! It's a Sunday night and I'm not exactly looking forward to work tomorrow. I do enjoy my job, but I'm in a lazy mood right now. I hope that at least it's not raining tomorrow. I'm just getting over a cold and I don't want to chance getting sick again.
Tomorrow I'm going to mom's place to fix her computer. I'm not sure why the internet doesn't want to work...it's a brand new computer. Ah, these damn machines are a pain in the ass. Maybe it's possessed like the work computers.
It's been a week now since I've gone complete vegan. I am doing well at it. I don't crave any dairy. I can't believe how easy it is to stay away from it all. The only thing I crave is french fries from the damn fry truck at my work. That's vegan....but not healthy. It would ruin everything I've acomplished so far. Actually today I had a crousant...guess I ruined todays food intake. Fuck...I want to look good though.
Every time I want to eat fried foods or meat I just think of the book Skinny Bitch...excellent book. I have to be positive and strong....I'm doing good....keep strong.
Monday, October 8, 2007
8:55:22 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Chillin'
Happy Thanksgiving
I should really write more often in this blog...time just passes too quickly...it all just fuckin sucks! Wow, what to start with...so much has happend since my last entry.
I am now working for a company called Triple M Metal as a scale operator. It's kinda fun so far...the people are great. I've been working here now for two months and hopefully they'll keep me! It's not my dream job, but it will have to do for the moment. I'm still dreaming about working with animals...any job working with animals is my dream job. Rachid thinks it's silly that I want a job working with animals...that there isn't any money in that kind of work. Doesn't matter...it's still my dream.
Happy Turkey day everyone in North America!!!Today is Thanksgiving day and I'm not having turkey! My family got together last night to celebrate instead of today. I guess they wanted a day off after to recover from all the food. I think a lot of people do that...so much food takes a lot out of you and makes u sleepy...how in the world could you wake up early the next day and work after all that food?!!!
Rachid and I didn't end up going to my aunts place. We just stayed home since I'm just getting over a cold. I was sick all week at work and I didn't want to miss any more time, especially since it's a new job. Mom said it was a wonderful evening and that we would have enjoyed it. People kept asking where we were, so I feel a little bad. But I have to say it was worth it. Rachid and I had a wonderful romantic evening. I have to say it was a reminder of why I married Rachid!!!! Ha Ha Ha!!! I have to say it was AMASING wild sex all evening long! Our normal sex life is good but last night was amasing.
8:55:22 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Chillin'
Happy Thanksgiving
I should really write more often in this blog...time just passes too quickly...it all just fuckin sucks! Wow, what to start with...so much has happend since my last entry.
I am now working for a company called Triple M Metal as a scale operator. It's kinda fun so far...the people are great. I've been working here now for two months and hopefully they'll keep me! It's not my dream job, but it will have to do for the moment. I'm still dreaming about working with animals...any job working with animals is my dream job. Rachid thinks it's silly that I want a job working with animals...that there isn't any money in that kind of work. Doesn't matter...it's still my dream.
Happy Turkey day everyone in North America!!!Today is Thanksgiving day and I'm not having turkey! My family got together last night to celebrate instead of today. I guess they wanted a day off after to recover from all the food. I think a lot of people do that...so much food takes a lot out of you and makes u sleepy...how in the world could you wake up early the next day and work after all that food?!!!
Rachid and I didn't end up going to my aunts place. We just stayed home since I'm just getting over a cold. I was sick all week at work and I didn't want to miss any more time, especially since it's a new job. Mom said it was a wonderful evening and that we would have enjoyed it. People kept asking where we were, so I feel a little bad. But I have to say it was worth it. Rachid and I had a wonderful romantic evening. I have to say it was a reminder of why I married Rachid!!!! Ha Ha Ha!!! I have to say it was AMASING wild sex all evening long! Our normal sex life is good but last night was amasing.
I have noticed a huge difference in Rachid's attitude lately. He is more romantic and careing again like in the early part of our relationship. I think since I gained a lot of weight it frustrated him and broke his heart. He hated seeing me depressed and not doing anything. He was getting worried and didn't know how to react. By him calling me fat he thought it would have helped me and push me to lose weight, when in reality it did the opposite. It made me upset, depressed and I ate more.
I have lost 25 Lbs so far. I had gone up to 275 Lbs at my highest weight which was scary. I started noticing health issues that was starting and new that I can't live this way any longer. My legs started swelling uncontrolably and I wasn't able to do any physical activity without being exhausted. At the moment I am 248 Lbs and still working at it. I am now a VEGAN and proud. I am looking forward to getting under 200 and wont give up. I am happier than I have been in a long time. I will learn to love life once again...I love my life.
I have lost 25 Lbs so far. I had gone up to 275 Lbs at my highest weight which was scary. I started noticing health issues that was starting and new that I can't live this way any longer. My legs started swelling uncontrolably and I wasn't able to do any physical activity without being exhausted. At the moment I am 248 Lbs and still working at it. I am now a VEGAN and proud. I am looking forward to getting under 200 and wont give up. I am happier than I have been in a long time. I will learn to love life once again...I love my life.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
12:34:01 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Frustrated
Huge Hippo
Today I'm a fuckin huge hippo. I ended up eating two small pizzas for lunch. How? I have no clue. I actually think I may be pregnant, but I haven't checked yet. In the last two years that I have been married I've tried to get pregnant. I gave up long time ago and went back on the pill as I was sick of my facial hair. I have a problem that if I'm not on the pill I get more facial hair. Having to wax my chin every few weeks isn't exactly fun. Anyway, it's been two months now that I haven't had it. I was supposed to start my pills again and I just kept waiting for my period to come. Hmmm....can I be pregnant? All I know is I can't get enough Salmon and I have always hated salmon. Plus...I'm a vegitarian and today I ordered a dead cow on my pizza. Hmmm....what is wrong with me?! Think I may be pregnant guys?! I highly doubt it...I have a feeling that I wont be able to have children.
Anyway, back to why I'm writing in this email. I'm a fat cow...a huge hippo. Tomorrow I am determined to join the gym. I need to get off my ass and burn some cal. Oh, and I havce to mention that I got laid off Monday. This is good and bad. Bad as in I don't have any money coming in, but good because I wont be ordering fattening food every day at work. Okay...so I ordered pizza today...but it was the last time. I'm fuckin poor now!
12:34:01 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Frustrated
Huge Hippo
Today I'm a fuckin huge hippo. I ended up eating two small pizzas for lunch. How? I have no clue. I actually think I may be pregnant, but I haven't checked yet. In the last two years that I have been married I've tried to get pregnant. I gave up long time ago and went back on the pill as I was sick of my facial hair. I have a problem that if I'm not on the pill I get more facial hair. Having to wax my chin every few weeks isn't exactly fun. Anyway, it's been two months now that I haven't had it. I was supposed to start my pills again and I just kept waiting for my period to come. Hmmm....can I be pregnant? All I know is I can't get enough Salmon and I have always hated salmon. Plus...I'm a vegitarian and today I ordered a dead cow on my pizza. Hmmm....what is wrong with me?! Think I may be pregnant guys?! I highly doubt it...I have a feeling that I wont be able to have children.
Anyway, back to why I'm writing in this email. I'm a fat cow...a huge hippo. Tomorrow I am determined to join the gym. I need to get off my ass and burn some cal. Oh, and I havce to mention that I got laid off Monday. This is good and bad. Bad as in I don't have any money coming in, but good because I wont be ordering fattening food every day at work. Okay...so I ordered pizza today...but it was the last time. I'm fuckin poor now!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
12:18:34 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Embarrassed
Fat Cow
Hello Blog Buddies,
Well today I feel like a fat cow. I can't believe I have let myself get so fuckin huge...I feel like a blimp. I have been a vegitarian now since Christmas...and do you think I lost any weight? Hell no....cause I'm a fat cow. I'm sick of eating everything that is garbage for myself...I have to eat healthy. The hot weather has finally arrived in Canada, and I must tell you I feel very uncomfortable. I feel sweaty all the time...shower a million times a day. Now I can't do anything to my hair...can't straighten it...so I have frizz like there's no tomorrow.
I weighed myself tonight....I am 262lbs. Shit...got so big so quickly.
Goal: Get under 200lbs
Rules:
Will not eat before bedtime.
Only one carb a day
No butter or margarine
No mayo
Only whole grains
Drink 8 glasses of water daily
No fast food
Only eat cheese in a salad or on a sandwich...must be low fat.
Eat fruits and veggies daily
Start exercising...take the stairs at work
Here's some ideas from Kraft:
http://www.kraftcanada.com/en/HealthyLiving/
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
9:54:05 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Angry Hearing Nothing
Tired, Sad, Pissed Off, Fuckin Moody, Have A Headache, Upset
It's day two at work and I'm so fuckin bored as usual. I'm running on no sleep since the idiot at home kept me awake all night. I think I might have have an hours rest, if that.
Yesterday Rachid went to the dentist for his first appointment to start working on his teeth. I have to say that he was terrified...good! I shouldn't really talk like that but that boy rubs me the wrong way. I have never been so stressed before in my life until I met him. He is going to be the death of me. So they pulled a tooth and filled a few cavities, as well as gave him a proper cleaning. When he went for the original cleaning it was too difficult to clean his teeth.
My anxiety is sky high right now...I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I'm completly medicated to the max right now. I don't know what to do. I feel sick...I can't sleep.
12:18:34 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Embarrassed
Fat Cow
Hello Blog Buddies,
Well today I feel like a fat cow. I can't believe I have let myself get so fuckin huge...I feel like a blimp. I have been a vegitarian now since Christmas...and do you think I lost any weight? Hell no....cause I'm a fat cow. I'm sick of eating everything that is garbage for myself...I have to eat healthy. The hot weather has finally arrived in Canada, and I must tell you I feel very uncomfortable. I feel sweaty all the time...shower a million times a day. Now I can't do anything to my hair...can't straighten it...so I have frizz like there's no tomorrow.
I weighed myself tonight....I am 262lbs. Shit...got so big so quickly.
Goal: Get under 200lbs
Rules:
Will not eat before bedtime.
Only one carb a day
No butter or margarine
No mayo
Only whole grains
Drink 8 glasses of water daily
No fast food
Only eat cheese in a salad or on a sandwich...must be low fat.
Eat fruits and veggies daily
Start exercising...take the stairs at work
Here's some ideas from Kraft:
http://www.kraftcanada.com/en/HealthyLiving/
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
9:54:05 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Angry Hearing Nothing
Tired, Sad, Pissed Off, Fuckin Moody, Have A Headache, Upset
It's day two at work and I'm so fuckin bored as usual. I'm running on no sleep since the idiot at home kept me awake all night. I think I might have have an hours rest, if that.
Yesterday Rachid went to the dentist for his first appointment to start working on his teeth. I have to say that he was terrified...good! I shouldn't really talk like that but that boy rubs me the wrong way. I have never been so stressed before in my life until I met him. He is going to be the death of me. So they pulled a tooth and filled a few cavities, as well as gave him a proper cleaning. When he went for the original cleaning it was too difficult to clean his teeth.
My anxiety is sky high right now...I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I'm completly medicated to the max right now. I don't know what to do. I feel sick...I can't sleep.
Monday, May 21, 2007
1:37:25 o'clock PM PDT Feeling Frustrated Hearing Nothing I'm at work
Exhausted, Stressed, & Fuckin Pissed
I'm counting down the minutes until it's time to go. I still have two and a half hours to go until I get to run away from this shit hole. As I expected I'm soooo incredibly exhausted from last night. Thanks to my idiot hubby I'm falling asleep at work.
"Railcrew, this is Kimberly". How many more times will I have to say this to people. God I hate being nice....I wish I could answer the phone, "what the fuck do you want?" It just feels so fake having to be nice. No one can be happy and bubbly at seven in the morning.
Me: "Railcrew, this is Kimberly"
Driver: "Can I have the Wellington dispatch please?"
Me: "Sure...can you learn what number to fuckin call"
I can't wait to get out of this place. Yes, I can't wait to leave today...but I was actually talking about when I quit this place. I'm still debating keeping this job and working two places. I'm sure I'll end up in the looney bin if I did that.
People drive me nuts here....they are really getting under my skin. Why do people have to be so annoying? Why do people have to be so bitchy. Nothing worse then a supervisor on a power trip bossing you around. I already called one a fuckin bitch today...yet I'm still here. God...what the fuck do I have to do to get fired from this place?!
I sure hope I get some sleep tonight...I really need it. Two more days to go of this shit place....maybe one. I'm still trying to decide if I will show up for day four. Should I?
1:37:25 o'clock PM PDT Feeling Frustrated Hearing Nothing I'm at work
Exhausted, Stressed, & Fuckin Pissed
I'm counting down the minutes until it's time to go. I still have two and a half hours to go until I get to run away from this shit hole. As I expected I'm soooo incredibly exhausted from last night. Thanks to my idiot hubby I'm falling asleep at work.
"Railcrew, this is Kimberly". How many more times will I have to say this to people. God I hate being nice....I wish I could answer the phone, "what the fuck do you want?" It just feels so fake having to be nice. No one can be happy and bubbly at seven in the morning.
Me: "Railcrew, this is Kimberly"
Driver: "Can I have the Wellington dispatch please?"
Me: "Sure...can you learn what number to fuckin call"
I can't wait to get out of this place. Yes, I can't wait to leave today...but I was actually talking about when I quit this place. I'm still debating keeping this job and working two places. I'm sure I'll end up in the looney bin if I did that.
People drive me nuts here....they are really getting under my skin. Why do people have to be so annoying? Why do people have to be so bitchy. Nothing worse then a supervisor on a power trip bossing you around. I already called one a fuckin bitch today...yet I'm still here. God...what the fuck do I have to do to get fired from this place?!
I sure hope I get some sleep tonight...I really need it. Two more days to go of this shit place....maybe one. I'm still trying to decide if I will show up for day four. Should I?
Sunday, May 20, 2007
1:59:07 o'clock PM PDT Feeling Chillin' Hearing None
Another Shitty Shift
My brain is turning to mush...fallin asleep. It's just the first day of work and already I'm dying of bordom. I really didn't feel like coming in to work today, but I wanted to get paid for the holiday tomorrow. Yes I'm actually working tomorrow...so I'm expecting a fairly nice pay cheque next week.
I'm still debating if I want to show up on the fourth day. I wonder if the company will still want closers at that time? Apparently the sneaky devil owners want to transfer everything to the USA. They already have transfered most of the closing locations there. Most of us no longer have anything to do....so it makes sense to lay us off.
I of course decided to apply for work other places. I had a couple interviews while I was off. The first interview really got to me. It was for Abrams towing and I arrived there early. I walked in...said "hello". The man asked me why I was leaving my present job...I replied "they're moving to the states". His responce, "okay thank you...if we need you we'll give you a call".
The interview wasn't even a minute long. What a fuckin asshole. I knew the moment I walked in there that he was judging me....as if he's one to judge. He was wearing a dirty ripped polo shirt and he had the biggest bear belly. He just looked so greasy...just a slimey pig, who wanted to hire someone who had hooters and a nice ass to stair at.
The second interview was on a different day, and it was for Securitas security. That interview went well...I got the job! I start training on the 29th of this month. I'm a little nervous, but more excited. I need a change...I need to get out of this shit place. I haven't told my present job that I'm leaving. I'm actually waiting to do that. Waiting for what you may ask? Well waiting to fuck them over! Nah...I just want to make sure that I like this place before quitting this one. I doubt I would still have a job comea week here anyway.
I just want to hold onto my benefits a bit longer...I'll just call in sick for a week and then give my resignation. What did the company ever do for me anyway? Nothin...all I ever did was work my ass off and got nothing for it.
1:59:07 o'clock PM PDT Feeling Chillin' Hearing None
Another Shitty Shift
My brain is turning to mush...fallin asleep. It's just the first day of work and already I'm dying of bordom. I really didn't feel like coming in to work today, but I wanted to get paid for the holiday tomorrow. Yes I'm actually working tomorrow...so I'm expecting a fairly nice pay cheque next week.
I'm still debating if I want to show up on the fourth day. I wonder if the company will still want closers at that time? Apparently the sneaky devil owners want to transfer everything to the USA. They already have transfered most of the closing locations there. Most of us no longer have anything to do....so it makes sense to lay us off.
I of course decided to apply for work other places. I had a couple interviews while I was off. The first interview really got to me. It was for Abrams towing and I arrived there early. I walked in...said "hello". The man asked me why I was leaving my present job...I replied "they're moving to the states". His responce, "okay thank you...if we need you we'll give you a call".
The interview wasn't even a minute long. What a fuckin asshole. I knew the moment I walked in there that he was judging me....as if he's one to judge. He was wearing a dirty ripped polo shirt and he had the biggest bear belly. He just looked so greasy...just a slimey pig, who wanted to hire someone who had hooters and a nice ass to stair at.
The second interview was on a different day, and it was for Securitas security. That interview went well...I got the job! I start training on the 29th of this month. I'm a little nervous, but more excited. I need a change...I need to get out of this shit place. I haven't told my present job that I'm leaving. I'm actually waiting to do that. Waiting for what you may ask? Well waiting to fuck them over! Nah...I just want to make sure that I like this place before quitting this one. I doubt I would still have a job comea week here anyway.
I just want to hold onto my benefits a bit longer...I'll just call in sick for a week and then give my resignation. What did the company ever do for me anyway? Nothin...all I ever did was work my ass off and got nothing for it.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
7:16:34 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Hopeful Hearing None...I'm @ work
@ Work & Wanting What Everyone Else is Eating!!!
So yesterday I started my actual diary of writing down the foods I eat during the day. I have to say that I am very happy with myself so far. I drank 6 glasses of water, 739 calories, and 21g of fat for the whole day. I have to say that I'm miserable right now though!!! People ordered food here at work, and shit...does it smell so good!
The website in which I linked for calculating your daily intake (http://sparkpeople.com/myspark/mysparkstart.asp) , calculated that if I lose 2-2.5 lbs a week I can be down to my goal weight by new years. I will be excited once I get down to 200lbs. I have to go back to my doctor in three weeks and I would be soooo happy if I can manage to lose 10lbs by then. Think it's possible? I am determined to do it. He will be pleased with my start.
Today I started out with an egg white omelette, with mushrooms, green peppers, onions and tomatoes. Mmmm was it good...and to think that it was almost fat free. I also had an orange and I'm staring at my apple right now! Losing weight right now is more important then anything else. My next day off I have to go for blood work and I will stop by the 24hr gym close to my house. I'm off to a good start in eating healthy...now have to try to get into shape. I don't want to be a fatty anymore.
7:16:34 o'clock AM PDT Feeling Hopeful Hearing None...I'm @ work
@ Work & Wanting What Everyone Else is Eating!!!
So yesterday I started my actual diary of writing down the foods I eat during the day. I have to say that I am very happy with myself so far. I drank 6 glasses of water, 739 calories, and 21g of fat for the whole day. I have to say that I'm miserable right now though!!! People ordered food here at work, and shit...does it smell so good!
The website in which I linked for calculating your daily intake (http://sparkpeople.com/myspark/mysparkstart.asp) , calculated that if I lose 2-2.5 lbs a week I can be down to my goal weight by new years. I will be excited once I get down to 200lbs. I have to go back to my doctor in three weeks and I would be soooo happy if I can manage to lose 10lbs by then. Think it's possible? I am determined to do it. He will be pleased with my start.
Today I started out with an egg white omelette, with mushrooms, green peppers, onions and tomatoes. Mmmm was it good...and to think that it was almost fat free. I also had an orange and I'm staring at my apple right now! Losing weight right now is more important then anything else. My next day off I have to go for blood work and I will stop by the 24hr gym close to my house. I'm off to a good start in eating healthy...now have to try to get into shape. I don't want to be a fatty anymore.
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