5 Signs You're Not Happy

Coca-Cola would like consumers to believe that happiness can be bottled up in just 12 fluid ounces (355 milliliters) of sugary goodness. The company's soda advertisements pair its products with the most enjoyable times in life -- neighborhood cookouts, movie dates and hanging out with near and dear ones. In Africa, this Coke-happiness correlation may have more behind it than just marketing dollars. In times of war and political strife in recent years, Coke sales have dipped; when stability returned, so did the soda consumption.

Still in My Heart

Smiles will hide my tears,
To make it through the day,
Somehow I always turn back to those tears of yesterday.
Laughter so sweet yet fake,
True Happiness never really found.
When lonesome I fall to the ground to cry, what to do with a broken life.
And yet, I still wait for the moment my heart will cease to pound.
Forever I dwell on my fantasies of my true love, my Romeo,
But I know that she is your Juliet.
Standing in the rain, crying, hoping that one day my heart will pay off this broken hearted debt.

Finally Free

Last night was the first night on my own... Rachid moved out. At first I was a little nervous to sleep alone in the apartment... afraid of ghosts or some shit... I've seen too many movies! I guess in a way I'm afraid if I have a panic attack and no one is here. I have to try to control those... but I have to say that I feel great.

Since he moved out yesterday, I gave the apartment a good cleaning. I still have to work on the floor, and then it's perfect. I could only do so much yesterday since I was getting tired. The bathroom is sparkling... it has never been that shiny before. Every time I would clean, Rachid would mess it up and dirty it. It will be nice not finding hair on the soap and baby hairs from shaving in the sink. It will also be nice not to have dishes in the sink.

I have to say the biggest change would be in my cat Mr Jingles. Jingles was so antisocial a month back to the point that I was beginning to worry. I even took him to the vet and brought it up... but now I know it was only because of stress that he was acting out. Jingles even pee pee in bed on Rachid... but now everything is making sense. I noticed when Rachid started working more, that Jingles was getting his personality back. Now that Rachid has moved out... Jingles is the cute and cuddly furry beast he used to be. I'm amazed... it goes to show how fighting in a home can do fucked up things... he's just a cat and it really effected him... can you imagine what it would do to a child?

I finally did it... he's out... and it's time to move on and live my life... time to finally be free!

It's Finally Over

A lot has happend this past week and it has been great but a little sad. Rachid and I are officially over and he has found an apartment on his own. We sat down and gave it a good talk and both agree that we have been driving eachother nuts and it's not going to work. I have known this for a long time now that's it's over... it was just dragging on. Rachid is not a nice person half the time... if you're a regular reader you would know that already.

We have decided to go our separate ways and try to keep everything good between us... will try to stay friends through this all. I truely believe that he has a problem... that he's bipolar and I pray that he does realise that he needs some help. I don't know what the future holds, but I do wish him all the best. Even though I know this is for the best in our lives... it's still a little hard and sad. It wasn't all bad our marriage... we did have good times and good memories... I will try to take them with me.

3am

3am
18th floor
I'm sitting at the window, your picture on my computer
Feel your arms around me but you're not here
I wear this shirt cause it has your scent
It's the closest I will ever be to you again

City sounds remind me of when we owned it all
We walked these streets and drank it all in
Never in my life had I felt so close to heaven
Never in my life have I felt so alone

There's a burning inside me that won't go away
It won't let me sleep
It won't let me think of anything else but you
Let it rain to wash me clean

By Kimberly

Can You Ever Love Me For Me?

Can you ever love me for me?
For the me that I am true and true
Can you love me with my imperfections?
Can you see me as I am and not as what you want me to be?

Can you ever love me for me?
For the me that makes mistakes and speaks without thinking
Can you love me even when I am unreasonable?
Can you see me as I am and not for the Angel you seek?

Can you ever love me for me?
For the me that cries when an animal is hurt
Can you love me when I am sad without me having a reason to be?
Can you see me as I am not as what I once was?

Can you ever love me for me?